


Fidus Amator, Fidelem Fratrem

by thecouchwitch



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harem, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Dry Humping, Eating disorder reference, Hand Jobs, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Panic Attacks, Polyamory Subtext, Porn With Plot, Positive Lunafreya, contains triggering content, royal fuckery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-02 20:26:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8682247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecouchwitch/pseuds/thecouchwitch
Summary: Every royal is given Retainers. These Retainers are expected to attend to your every need, even the ones behind closed doors. This is a story examining Prince Noct's relationship with his three Retainers, told in segments and timeskips across several chapters.





	1. Flower of the Court: Nosce Te Ipsum

**Author's Note:**

> The following is just a story, it's an artistic expression of an idea I had. It's in no way meant to encourage or justify the following events in real life. What I write is completely detached from the morals I hold.  
> Shoutout to herdustisverypretty for editing this monstrosity.

“I want to ask you to be my Retainer.”

Gladiolus nearly chokes on the water he was drinking. Noctis takes a sip out of his own water bottle nonchalantly, not even blinking when his sparring companion turns wide eyes towards the young prince. Gladiolus knows what a Retainer is, of course he does, but the fact that this kid, the prince, a boy, just asked him to be one makes him wonder if Noctis knows fully what that implies.

“I'm... I'm already your Shield, Noct. Besides, you're too young for a Retainer.”

“I'm going to be thirteen soon,” Noct counters, voice as calm and level as you like, speaking with the confidence of someone who has rehearsed the conversation and all possible ways it could go in the mirror for several hours at least, “the laws say I can choose to have Retainers any time after my birthday. If I don't choose my own, they'll be chosen for me when I get older, I don't want to be stuck with ones I don't like.”

That is true. What the royal counsellors consider appropriate for the Prince very often does not suit his tastes. Gladiolus himself had certainly not been to Noctis' tastes when it was decided he would become his Shield, and it was only through divine luck and happy coincidence that they have come to care for each other as strongly as they do. Gladiolus loves him like a brother, which is just one of the reasons that prevent him from accepting this new position.

“I'm flattered, Noct...” he says awkwardly, slowly, carefully, “But you know what that means right? Wouldn't you rather your Retainers be nice girls...?”

“I don't know any girls.” The Prince has clearly made up his mind. He turns his face away; that tells Gladiolus he's embarrassed, which can only mean that he really does understand. “I know you. You don't have to say yes, I just thought I would ask.”

Gladiolus is speechless. Being a Shield to the kid is one thing, being his Retainer, a role traditionally fulfilled by a woman, a role that required the fulfilment of many needs beyond what he was trained for, is another. His first instinct is to say no, but then he notices the way Noctis is sitting, knees curled to his chest, eyes cast downwards shyly, cheeks bright pink, hands nervously playing with the cap of his energy drink, and he finds himself faltering.  
  
The kid is so lonely and has so few people to call his friend.

“...Let me think about it.”

 

-

 

Noctis informs his father and the royal counsel of Gladiolus' new role the day after his birthday, and a bit of a shitstorm ensues. The counsellors are furious, confused, and they privately question Noct and Gladiolus in separate rooms for hours. They accuse Gladiolus of doing all sorts of horrible things, seducing a young boy, manipulating him for a position of greater influence, and basically all the things that the Shield had never even come close to considering. It makes his blood boil, and he wants to overturn the table between him and the smarmy investigators and punch them in their stupid faces for even suggesting them, but he somehow manages to keep his cool and answer their questions.

He really regrets agreeing, but if he caved at this point, tried to back out, it would look like he was trying to escape scrutiny. He was doing it for Noct's protection, a gesture purely made of love and trust, and anyway, it wasn't like these counsellors would have made a fuss if Noct had chosen a woman of the same age. Hadn't King Regis' first Retainer been something like thirty-five? Gladiolus was only three years older than his charge. Hypocrites, If they were going to force the kid to grow up, at least let him do so on his own terms.

Eventually, Gladiolus is left alone. The inquisitors slither out the door, mumbling amongst themselves over the situation, and Gladiolus feels a stab of regret as he thinks of how news would have traveled by now, at least to other employees and family members of the castle. What was his father thinking? What did they tell his sister?

 

-

 

It's close to midnight when the nightmare ends. The door opens, and King Regis is standing there with his son. Gladiolus is never told what sort of interrogations Noctis was put through, but there are tears of stress staining his cheeks. The King doesn't exactly look thrilled, but he's not angry either, instead he seems confused, uncertain; clearly, he did not come to his decision easily.

Noct bolts across the room and launches himself in Gladiolus' arms, burying his face in his chest. Gladiolus is caught off guard, it's the first time Noct has ever embraced him like that, and he casts a nervous glance at the boy’s father. Regis' expression doesn't change.

“I'm sorry,” Noct mumbles, his voice cracking ever so slightly, “You must hate me.”

“...'Course not.” Gladiolus offers a weak smile and ruffles his hair affectionately. His heart sinks just a little bit, wondering if the apology meant that Noct's selection had been rejected, that the counsellors would be taking disciplinary actions of some kind, but then King Regis steps towards them and calmly clears his throat.

“It seems I will be welcoming you to the family for the next few years, Mr. Amicitia. My son has sung you such high praise, I'm glad he's chosen such an honourable companion.”

Gladiolus is speechless for a moment, gaping as his tired and overworked brain tries to process the information given to it before finally sputtering out an answer.

“Y-Yes, Highness. I won't let you or Noct-, I mean, Prince Noctis down.”

“See that you don't.” Regis' response is not said with a threatening tone, but it's a warning all the same. Like an overprotective father being introduced to his daughter's boyfriend on prom night. Considering the situation, Gladiolus can't exactly blame him for being wary.

 

-

 

Their relationship doesn't change much, to Gladiolus' relief. Gladiolus goes on being a Shield, Noctis goes on being his prince. He gets his own bedroom in the royal wing, however, that he's allowed to use whenever he wants, but save for late nights when he feels too tired to make the journey home, he doesn't use it much. It feels awkward. His father knows, but never brings his new position up. His sister appears to be none the wiser.

Noctis starts touching him more than he used to. He hugs him, leans against him, holds his hand. It's innocent, nice in a way, and every bit of contact makes Gladiolus' pulse race.

He's not gay. And Noct is just a kid, like a little brother, and although he agreed to take on the position out of love and duty, he's not exactly excited to be his retainer. Neither is the palace staff, going by the dirty looks he constantly gets shot. The kingdom is not a widely homophobic society, but if you were royalty it was a different story all together. A male prince openly taking on a male retainer has never been heard of before. It threatens the future of the royal line, the stability of the kingdom, and alliances with other nations, present and future. Gladiolus knows Noct would allow him to quit if he asked, but despite all the anxiety and confusion he had over the situation, he imagines Noct being assigned some stranger, who is prim and proper and everything Noct hates. He pictures the prince being forced to love someone like that, and he knows he has to stay.

“Noct?” Gladiolus says one day. They're sitting watching television. Noctis has his head laid in his Retainer's lap. The prince hums affirmatively to indicate he is listening. “I overheard something today.”

“Have the servants been making fun of us again?”

“What? No! I mean... Well, they just said something about previous retainers. Apparently a lot of royals say they want their friends to be retainers while growing up, but change their mind once they get interested in girls...”

Hushed whispers, gossip between two kitchen hands as they peeled potatoes. Regis swore he was going to marry his male cousin as a child, one had said. Noct would grow out of the phase he was going through, said another. He's probably a late bloomer, said them both.

Noctis sits up and looks at him with an unreadable expression. “Are you asking me if I still want you as my Retainer?”

“I... I just don't want you to feel like you're stuck with me if you become close with someone else.”

“Do _you_ still want to be my retainer?” The prince tilts his head curiously, blinking those big blue eyes at his Shield in a way that would make glaciers melt.

“If you'll have me,” Gladiolus answers with less uncertainty than he did a year ago.

“Then I'll tell you when I stop wanting you to be.” Noctis smiles, and then for the first time, he kisses Gladiolus on the lips. Gladiolus freezes up and raises his hands to clutch Noctis' skinny shoulders in surprise, he's kissing _a guy_ , he's kissing _his brother_ , what the _fuck,_ but he's his retainer, he knew what he was getting into, and so for the sake of his love for Noctis and his duty to the Kingdom he relaxes into the unexpected contact. Gladiolus starts mentally preparing himself for all the things this could lead to, but only a few seconds later Noctis pulls away and says he's going to get ready for bed. The Prince and his shield bid each other goodnight, then Gladiolus returns to his own room in the royal wing, heart racing, head swimming, unable to shake the feeling of being let down by an anti-climax.

Gladiolus can't ask Noctis if he's gay, and Noctis wouldn't be able to say if he was. Whatever a royal did while they were young, once they were engaged to be married they could just pass off their past as the stupidity of youth. Noctis confirming to anyone, even his male Retainer, that he had no interest in women would put his suitability as king into question. Could he produce an heir? Would he be faithful to his queen? If a prince came out as gay, friendly nations would be reluctant to offer their princesses in marriage, and rival nations would use his sexuality to question his suitability for rulership. It was an utter mess, and the shield in no way envied his little prince.

 

-

 

Noctis invites Gladiolus to spend the night in his room. The prince is fifteen, and showing no sign of wavering interest in the company of his Shield. It's too late to argue that he's a late bloomer, but for sanity's sake, the palace staff acts like he's going to turn straight any day now. Gladiolus had been kissed and touched by Noctis nearly constantly lately, two years later the situation has finally stopped feeling so surreal, but his stomach is full of butterflies when he knocks on the prince's door. He's never had sex with a guy before.

Noctis invites him in wearing plain pyjamas, nothing shocking or fancy. They spend several hours on his couch watching TV, chatting, playing a new game Noctis had recently bought, and then the Prince says he feels like going to bed. His bed is huge, especially for a boy his size, and Gladiolus could probably have more than half of it to himself without ever disturbing its owner, but as soon as the shield shuts off the light and gets into bed Noctis is huddled up close against his side, lips seeking out that of his retainer's in the dark.

As Gladiolus' eyes adjust to the dim he takes in the image of a slender teen draping himself over him, a boy with a delicate face, slender shoulders, pale skin the colour of moonlight. Soft lips connect with the rougher ones of the Shield, and then they're kissing with greater urgency and passion than Gladiolus can ever remember.

There's no clear end of the kissing and beginning of the sex, if it could be called sex. It's more like dry-humping. It's a blur of touch, scent, and excitement, and despite the fact that he's still pretty certain he's not gay, Gladiolus is hard. He likes women, oh so much, but holding this boy in his arms, kissing him, grinding against his slim body, feeling that smaller firmness in his bottoms prodding against his muscular thigh just feels _so good,_ and then before they've even taken their clothes off, Gladiolus slides a hand under the covers and caresses Noctis' erection, giving it a squeeze through his pyjama bottoms.

Noctis shudders and makes a noise, and less than a second later Gladiolus feels a dampness spread against his palm. He'd come in his pants the moment he'd touched him.

“Dammit...” Noct swears breathlessly, covering his face with his hands in embarrassment. Gladiolus' brotherly instincts take over, and he's sitting up, soothing hand on Noctis' shoulder, words of reassurance ready on his lips, but then the prince is suddenly the one grabbing his cock, so big in the prince's delicate hands, and he's dragging it out of Gladiolus' boxers and sticking the thick head right in his mouth. He gags and spits it out almost instantly, completely taking his shield’s breath away.

“S-Slow down,” Gladiolus chokes out, cupping Noctis' pink cheek in his hand. Rookie mistake, the virgin trying to deep-throat right off the bat. “That's something you have to practice.”

He doesn't want to tell Noctis what to do, as a Retainer it was his job to do what the prince wanted in bed, but the kid is so inexperienced and eager that they're in danger of hurting each other if he doesn't bestow a little guidance. He moves Noctis' hands into a more favourable permission, tells him to stick to licking and stroking for now, and then helps the prince set a pace that was satisfying for both of them. Gladiolus watches the entire time, bewitched by the way his slender fingers move so gently, the way his biceps and pectorals heaved under his tunic with the effort, the way his eyes widened with something resembling awe as the cock in his hands grew and leaked in his hands until the man was fit to burst. Gladiolus tries to move when he feels the end near, but he's not fast enough, or maybe Noctis misunderstands the movement, because the prince keeps grasping his cock with the head pointed right at him, and a spurt of come shoots right into his royal face, followed by two more hitting his neck and the front of his sleep shirt.

Noctis blinks in surprise. Gladiolus swears much worse than the prince had earlier, then gets up and switches on the lights to look for something to clean up with.  
  


-  
  


Things are weirdly normal. Gladiolus feels like everyone is staring at him as he passes them, but that was all in his head as the palace had been assuming he and Noctis were already sleeping together. Noctis is his usual self. He whines when he's woken up, he tries to hide the vegetables when he's served breakfast, and he makes faces at his weekend tutor's back while she lectures him on royal behaviour.

Gladiolus isn't gay. Seeing a beautiful woman with a generous chest passing him in the halls causes him as much private enjoyment as it usually does. But the night before still happened, it had been _hot_ , and his heart races when he sees his prince strip off his shirt to change before sword practice, revealing just how effective their sessions were being in the definition of his stomach.

Noct must feel his eyes on him, because he looks over then, and gives him a shy-but-meaningful smile, comforting him and flirting with him at the same time. A warmth settles in his stomach. Gladiolus coughs his throat clear.

“Right, continuing where we left off with the new stance I was showing you...”

Things were fucked up and confusing, but at least he could sure in his love for his prince.  
  


-

 


	2. Fire in your Mind: Amor A Longe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like, the game is out now yeah? But here's the thing, this story is almost finished, and I don't wanna lose my motivation to finish it because I played it and saw how the canon was poking holes in my verse. Therefore, I'm waiting until I finish chapter 3 before I start playing proper. Don't worry, I still played the demos and saw the anime and all that so it's not like I'm flying blind. If you see something that doesn't line up just be like "it's an au" and try to ignore it XD
> 
> Anyway this chapter got WAY out of hand and went through at least 6 rewrites before I even had the sequence of events down. Shoutout to herdustisverypretty for being a great beta.  
> I seem to have turned Noct into a bit of a closet temptress, should I feel bad about that? XD

Noctis Lucius Caelum is beautiful.  
  


That's what Ignis Scientia, son of the famous Count and Countess Scientia, thinks to himself as he gazes at the photograph in his small hands.

Ignis had been raised from birth to serve the royal family of Lucis, a great honour his parents had claimed, but being only a child he found the entire thing confusing and annoying. Why the etiquette lessons? Why the constant homework? Why couldn't he go to a normal school? His questions were endless and he had yet to receive a satisfying answer to any of them. It was all for the king, his parents said. It's preparing you for your purpose in life, his tutors said. He'd never even met the king, thought Ignis, and he'd never even seen the face of this “purpose”, this Prince he would serve until he was old and grey. His entire life was decided for him, and he was only six years old.  
  


Worried about the rebellious streak he was developing, his parents make the decision to move him, alone, to Insomnia in hopes that being connected to the royal family would awaken his love for them. He doesn't complain much, after all it wasn't like he had any friends that he was attached to, but he's pessimistic, he hates it, he's secretly afraid to be alone in a strange place, and he doesn't understand what all this is for.  
  


Then while the arrangements to move are under way, his father shows him a photo of the prince. A soft kind face that foretold the handsome features of a kind and generous leader, soft black hair framing his cheeks like curtains of silk, large blue eyes that held a world’s worth of loneliness in each iris. If such glory was real and not just a trick of the light, a false image created to lure Ignis away like a virgin luring a unicorn, then he's the most beautiful creature to ever walk the face of the planet, and Ignis is enchanted.  
  


“He just lost his mother last spring,” his father reminds him, trying to play off Ignis' separation from his home as anyone's idea but his own, “Having a friend his own age might cheer him up.”  
  


Ignis nods silently, only half listening, unable to tear his gaze away from those eyes, the eyes belonging to his purpose in life.

 

-  
  
  


Despite his initial concerns, Ignis adjusts quickly to life in Insomnia.

His parents visit on some occasions, and they write or call on others. He continues his education; the tutors are much like the ones he has back home, just with different names, faces, and accents.

He doesn't get to see Noctis much.

Noctis is shy, with an entirely different schedule to him, and everywhere he goes he's surrounded by a posse of nannies and servants that are wary of letting anyone but King Regis approach him. Ignis sees him occasionally in the palace halls, or outside playing on the grounds. Sometimes they're tutored together, but they're not exactly allowed to speak in class unless spoken to, so it's hardly an environment that encourages bonding. He wants to be by his side, to care for his prince, to ease his loneliness, and he says as much to his own caretaker; she responds that he's not yet skilled enough to care for a prince. When he grows up, maybe.

Ignis studies harder than ever before, and starts measuring his height weekly. If he can grow to the height of his shortest attendant, Ignis thinks, there'd be no reason to deny him a place at the Prince's side.

 

-

 

Noctis likes sweet food, so Ignis learns to cook. He watches the palace chefs work, he reads recipe books in the library, and he requests that domestic duties be added to his educational itinerary so that he can be taught to use kitchenware.

Not yet allowed to use an oven without help, Ignis makes a simple vanilla cheesecake for his prince. It's awful. He makes another. It's still not right. He makes another. It's virtually inedible.

Another.

Another.

Another.

 

-

 

“I made this for you,” Ignis says in a rush, holding the plate with the cake on it with the care of someone holding a precious treasure. It's not the best, but it's good, it's acceptable, and he's too impatient to try again. The dessert is small, the size of a cupcake, Ignis had been hoping he could present Noctis with a full sized one, but he couldn't get the bigger ones to set properly.  
  


Noctis blinks in confusion, as does the attendee with him, holding his hand as they cross the palace floor. Then, those sad blue eyes sparkle with an emotion Ignis hasn't seen him wear before, and he looks desperately, silently, up at his nanny. She seems to deliberate for a moment, then sighs and smiles tiredly.  
  


“Go ahead highness, just make sure it won’t spoil your dinner.”  
  


The little prince excitedly trots forward and takes the plate from Ignis' hands. He smiles shyly, and Ignis is overwhelmed with the sensation of his life’s purpose being fulfilled.  
  


“Um, thank you...” Noctis remembers his manners. Ignis wants to say “No, thank _you,_ ” but instead he just sputters out a quiet “Not at all.” as the prince digs his fork into the dessert.  
  


The hopeful expression on Noctis' face turns into a portrait of joy as he shovels a spoonful of cream into his mouth. He makes a noise in his throat that indicates happiness and begins devouring the rest of the cake with the enthusiasm of a hungry dog.

Ignis wants to take a picture of that face, cheerful, silly, covered in cream, and frame it above his bed.

 

-

 

As the two of them grow and the gap between their ages starts to seem less drastic, Noctis and Ignis have more and more classes together. Their schedules begin lining up almost exactly, and soon they're reading together, playing together, eating together.

It was a common saying in Insomnia that a person should never meet their heroes, because a hero would never live up to your expectations and leave you feeling disappointed. Noctis is not like the idealized angel that Ignis had conjured up using the brief encounters across the palace halls as a base, but rather than causing the young count to lose interest, he becomes more devoted than ever.

Noctis hates vegetables, so Ignis watches him at meal times and does his best to dissuade him from hiding his greens under the table. Noctis likes videogames, so Ignis tries to make sure he spends a healthy amount of his free time outside. He struggles with his homework, so Ignis does it with him, helping him memorize his multiplication tables.

When the prince's age reaches that of double digits, Noct starts going to school. Normal school, with other children his age who have no relation whatsoever to the palace staff. Ignis feels a slight emptiness at first, to be given what he wanted and then have it taken away seemed a cruelty too harsh to bear, but he refocuses his efforts and buries himself in his work.

Noctis, on the other hand, seems to have the opposite problem. He's the one who suggests to his father that he go to school, and after long arguments King Regis lets his spoiled son have his way. In the beginning, he is excited to go, to meet people outside the closed environment of the palace, but as the weeks go by something changes and Noctis' enthusiasm begins to wane.  
  


“You should come to school with me,” he says one day, not even looking away from the screen of his television as he fights the forces of the wicked Chimera kingdom with the power of the Holy Crest. “It's boring in class without you.”  
  


Ignis glances at him, mildly surprised, mildly elated. He didn't particularly want to go to school, he enjoyed his private tutoring and the specialized lessons that came with it, but he would give it all away if Noctis asked him. Unfortunately…  
  


“I wouldn't be in your class,” he explains, “I'm too old. Schools sort classes by age.”  
  


“... I think I'll quit school.”  
  


The hero on the TV stops moving. The young Prince purses his lips in a hard, straight line, as if biting back the words he wanted to say. Noctis is something of a crybaby. Not that he throws a lot of loud tantrums and cries at the drop of a hat, he’s far too shy and composed for that. But when he’s sad, _really_ sad, he shuts down like a triggered security system, ceasing to speak for fear of letting out an undignified sob. Ignis had heard him secretly crying several times before, and he gets the feeling that Noctis will do so once he next leaves the room. Ignis frowns.  
  


“Don't you like school anymore?”  
  


“...Everyone stares at me...” The little prince's voice is barely above a whisper. He pauses the game and puts the controller aside, then hugs his knees to his chest and hides his face in the ball he creates with his body. “They're always talking to me all at once, and the girls fight over who gets to sit next to me... I'm really tired, I miss just being with you.”  
  


He turns his face to rest his cheek on his knees and look at Ignis sadly. Ignis isn't really sure what to say, so he gently squeezes the young princes shoulder. Noctis leans against him and cries.

 

-

 

Noctis dies. Not really, he almost dies, but his nanny, the kindly woman who let him eat Ignis' cake so long ago, she's dead. The prince is as good as dead. He's in a coma, he has a spinal injury, the entire palace is convinced he's never going to wake up, and King Regis stays at his bedside for days at at a time.

Ignis feels like he's in a dream. Noct is dead, that means his life is over, he has no purpose. Noctis. His angel who had become mortal. Gone.

Ignis wanders about the palace in a daze. He attends to his duties mindlessly, robotically, because his mind is somewhere in the far flung future, in the haze of non-existence that the world would collapse into once Noctis vanished for good. He loses his appetite and stops cooking. He stops sleeping. None of the people around him notice, not that he cares if they do or not.

The spells breaks one day, when Ignis walks into a room for a purpose he instantly forgets, and Gladiolus Amicita is there, sitting by the window. Noctis' Shield, his bodyguard, the person sworn to protect him. He doesn't know him very well, he's only spoken briefly to the Shield a few times, but he's only a year older than himself, and not yet old enough to take on all the responsibilities that the position requires. He'll have no purpose either, once Noctis is gone.

Doctors would later say that Ignis had a nervous breakdown, that his senses were driven from him by stress and exhaustion. He doesn't remember much about the incident, but people tell him later that he suddenly started screaming and throwing things at Gladiolus, attacking him in such a rage that no less than three palace guards had to subdue him as he cursed the Shield out for not being there when the Prince needed him.

He is dismissed from his duties, supposedly for the sake of his health, but feels like a punishment. He's sent home to his parents to recover in peace, away from the oppressive and mournful atmosphere of the castle, away from any chance of being near Noctis when he dies.

But then, Noctis doesn't die. He wakes, and he's alive, weak, badly injured, but alive, and doctors think he may even walk again someday. The news reaches Ignis and it's like taking a breath for the first time in years, suddenly the haze is clear, and the news just keeps getting better because it seems the moment Noctis had heard what happened, he demanded Ignis be hired back.

Ignis can't return to the palace. Not yet. Noctis wouldn't be there anyway, the king had taken him to a foreign land to finish healing, but he finally had his purpose back, and this time, he would protect him.

He picks up a couple of daggers and begins training.

 

-

 

There's an attack on the kingdom of Tenebrae. Some people die. The invaders win. But Noctis gets out, along with his father, and he returns home shaken but safe. So young and to have seen so much pain, it takes every ounce of self-control not to leap on the young highness, and hug him, wheelchair and all. Instead, he offers a smile and a small bow.

Their first meeting after so long isn't exactly romantic, but it's a meeting all the same, and that's more than Ignis could have hoped to ask for. Doctors vouch for Ignis' health, Ignis is calm and cordial, and the palace is short of staff with more than a few of Regis and Noctis' attendants not returning with them, so they are eager for Ignis to start work immediately. Properly this time, by Noctis' side.

He meets Gladiolus again. It's awkward. Ignis offers a curt and formal apology. Gladiolus is clearly still sore over the event, but he accepts it. Not perfect, but a start.

 

-

 

When Ignis wakes up late one morning, he finds the palace in an uproar. He quickly finds out why. Noctis has chosen a Retainer. A male one. Gladiolus. Ignis feels as though he's been kicked in the face.

 

-

 

Gladiolus makes Noctis happy. Even Ignis can't deny that. The prince doesn't really smile all that much after all the tragedy that had befallen, but he smiles around his Shield, and his face practically glows whenever “Gladio” praises him or pats him on the head. Sometimes when they think they're alone, Ignis sees them holding hands, or exchanging kisses.

A few times, Ignis drives with the two of them in the backseat. When it's just Noctis back there, they chat comfortably, or just sit in companiable silence and Ignis feels at peace, but when the Retainer starts joining, it’s “Gladio” he chats with, Gladio who makes him laugh, Gladio who slides over to place sultry kisses on Noctis' neck. It's... hard.

He's definitely jealous, he's grown up enough to admit that. He wants to be the one who makes Noct smile like that, the one he seeks out when he's looking for affection. Ignis displays his emotions less openly compared to the Shield, he wouldn't be a very good valet otherwise, but he isn't made of stone. Or maybe it isn't Gladiolus' personality, but his body that Noctis is attracted to? The man is built like an armoured airship, Ignis' taste in men leans towards the more refined, elegantly handsome types but he can definitely see the appeal in rugged beasts like Gladiolus.

Whatever reasons Noctis has, he tries to tell himself it's illogical to worry over them. Gladiolus, despite his hotheadedness, is a fine protector, an honourable man, and Noctis loves him. If Noctis is happy, then he should be allowed that happiness, even if it costs Ignis' own.

 

-

 

Prince Noctis and King Regis have a massive fight. Not just a petty squabble, but a full-on fight featuring yelling, with insults from the prince and threats to freedom from the king.  
  
Noctis is ordered to be confined to his room, and he's not to come out until he's ready to be civil, not even for dinner. The guards go as far as to lock him in, which even the strict and proper Ignis feels to be a little excessive, not to mention redundant. Noctis is the typical moody fifteen-year-old, being locked in his room not having to talk to anyone is a dream come true for him.  
  
Dinner comes and goes. King Regis caves in to parental guilt, and asks Ignis to take up some food to his bratty not-acting-very-royal son.  
  


Small tray of leftovers in hand, Ignis unlocks the bedroom door, knocks, and enters after a moment of fruitlessly waiting for a response.  
  


Noctis is found within, sitting on the floor, back against his bed, knees under his chin and hands forming a circle around his ankles. His face is all rainclouds, and his usually ethereal glow is replaced by something dimmer and more depressed. He briefly glances up at Ignis when he enters, then mumbles a quiet greeting and returns to sulking to the floor. Ignis hesitates for a moment, then walks over to the prince and places the tray on the bedside table.  
  


“Your father wants you to know he's sorry for being harsh.”  
  


“Then why did he send you up here instead of coming up himself?” Noctis twitches in annoyance and peeks up at his faithful valet. Ignis smiles slightly, trying to bring a bit of levity to the conversation.  
  


“Would you have let him enter if he'd come himself?”  
  


The prince makes an irritated noise in response. Ignis stands in place for a moment, debating with his inner code of propriety, then decides his dedication to his love is more important than royal staffer's code of conduct. He sits down beside the prince and gives his shoulder what he hopes is a welcome and comforting squeeze. To his immense pleasure, Noctis responds by leaning his cheek on the older man's hand. Ignis takes it as invitation to investigate further.  
  


“Do you mind telling me what your fight was about?”  
  


“Didn't you hear from how loud we were yelling?”  
  


“It was a private moment; I didn't want to eavesdrop on you. Besides which, the walls of the room you were in were too thick to make out the words.”  
  


This earns a precious laugh from the Prince, and Ignis is awash with the feeling of completing his life’s purpose. He can't believe how blessed he is sometimes, to be born to service such a creature, to be so certain of himself, to be so content. He struggles to keep utter contentment off his face as his young charge begins to speak again.  
  


“He... His advisors, really. They want me to have more female attendants... Which I wouldn't mind, but...” Noctis shakes his head in dismay, “Well it's obvious why they want me to do it. They even want to go outside tradition and hire on someone else to be my Shield. A complete stranger!”  
  


Noctis's hands are shaking, and from the way his voice cracks it's hard to tell if he wants to cry or throw something. He's got a right to be angry, quite frankly, Ignis is angry on his behalf. Ignis can still remember the sting of his parents’ disapproval when he informed them just why he was so uninterested in meeting the daughters of family friends. Noctis doesn't have the luxury that Ignis does, however. Whatever many expectations and responsibilities Ignis was born with, he was practically a feral child compared to the carefully scripted and caged life of a prince. Noctis can't even say what he wants to do.  
  


“I don't get it,” Noctis continues, shaking his head again, “I promised I would get married when I was older. I'll let them pick my wife and everything. Why can't they leave me alone until then?”  
  


It's a rhetorical question, because Noctis knows the answer (appearances, reputation), and Ignis knows he knows so his response is silent, choosing instead to heave a sigh of empathy. The prince grinds at one of his eyes with the heel of his palm. “Do you think dad hates me?”  
  


“Of course not.” Ignis' answer is immediate, “He adores you. It's... It's just a very complicated situation. He cannot abandon his duty to his country, even if he loves you more than everyone in the land combined. Which, by the way, I'm certain he does.”  
  


For what little comfort his words can provide, Noctis does seem to be soothed somewhat. His body relaxes, and something akin to a smile plays about his face as the prince leans against his valet and wraps an arm over his torso, like a child clinging to his mother. Ignis smiles and strokes his hair affectionately.  
  


“I'm not giving up Gladio.” He nuzzles his cheek against Ignis' shirt.  
  


“You really love Gladiolus, don't you?”  
  


“Mmhm, he's my brother.”  
  


“And I'm not?”  
  


Ignis doesn't mean to say the words, they just slip out in a rare moment where he forgot to think. He prays to whatever gods are listening that Noct doesn't hear what he said, or he laughs it off as a joke, or takes it in a different way from how it is meant, but the prayer goes unanswered. Noctis pulls away from him and stares up at him with big, confused eyes. Ignis quickly stands and straightens his clothes.  
  


“I best be getting back to my duties, you should eat something and get some rest,” he keeps his voice stoic and calm on his way out the door, hoping to escape before the prince can react.  
  


Of course, the prince stops him. “Iggy?”  
  


Ignis is duty-bound to stop and turn back to him. Noctis is looking up shyly at him, angelic eyes peeking through the darkness of his hair. “I love you.”  
  


“...I love you too, highness.”

 

-

 

Ignis wakes up to the soft click of his door being shut. It's still dark, and he wonders if he was dreaming, but he feels eyes on the back of his head, and hears the softest of breaths penetrating the night air. Ignis rolls over and sits up, and the slightly blurred visage of Noctis stares back at him, looking very small in his oversized night shirt, hand clutched over his heart.  
  


“Highness?” He squints in disbelief. He fumbles for his glasses, and he puts them on in time to clearly see the prince undo the few buttons that had been holding the shirt closed and drop the garment the garment to the floor, so that he's wearing nothing but the tiniest of smiles. Ignis gapes in shock and seriously wonders if he's still dreaming. “N-Noct!”  
  


“I love you,” Noctis repeats his words from earlier in the night, crawling onto to the bed. He sits on his knees seizes Ignis' face in his hands, pulling him into a timid kiss. Ignis knows, logically, he should push the prince away, but... he doesn't want to, and he is weak. He wraps his arms around his master's slim waist and pulls him closer, glasses being bumped askew as the kiss turns more intimate, only pulling away when the two begin to gasp for air.  
  


“I love you,” Noctis says it again, eyes shining brightly, pupils blown wide, his face a mask of determination, “I won't let anyone take you from me, not you or Gladio. Promise me you won’t leave.”  
  


“I-I won't leave you,” Ignis promises without hesitation. “They'll have to drag me out, they'll have to...” A shake of the head, some thought has returned, “Highness, you should be in bed.”  
  


“I should be a lot of things.”  
  


“Is this really the safest time for you to rebel?”  
  


“Be my Retainer?” Noctis isn't listening at all, of course, why would he? He's a spoiled prince, desperate to have what he wants. And it's all and everything that Ignis has ever dared to dream, to be loved, to be trusted, to be allowed to give his entire being to his one singular purpose in life. Noctis is straddling his lap, pale body shining in the dim moonlight, eyes looking at him with such adoration... By all that is decent, Ignis is powerless against those eyes.  
  


“Of course,” he says, voice strong and decisive when he should be at least a little hesitant. He kisses his prince with great urgency. He was inviting so much future stress and unhappiness into Noctis' life by agreeing, but... Who cares about the king? Or the advisors? Or Gladiolus? All that matters is Noctis is at that moment, in his arms, on the bed, underneath him, on his knees, hands against the headboard, making the most delicious noises as his faithful servant fucks between his saliva-slicked thighs.  
  


Ignis kisses his back, his neck, strokes him to completion with a hand partially encircling their cocks. It's his first time doing this sort of thing, but he gets the job done, and it's all over far too quickly. They both collapse uselessly on the bed, panting harshly from their trip to heaven and back, and Iggy is the first one to recover. He rolls Noctis onto his back and kisses every area of his skin he can get it, unable to contain his worship for the boy any longer. Noctis smiles lazily and fondly touches his neck.

 

-

 

It's not quite the drama that happened when Gladiolus became Retainer. It was less of a shock, most likely, though Ignis doesn't doubt that those who objected before are equally furious now. Noctis and Regis make up in a private moment. Ignis doesn't ask and Noctis doesn't comment, but Gladiolus and himself still have their jobs, so whatever discussion went down, it ended in the Prince's favour. Noctis is happy, and that's all Ignis cares about.  
  


It's awkward when Gladiolus and Ignis meet from then on, not that it wasn't before. They're both protective, both jealous, but eventually they manage to achieve a level of comfort around the other. They both wished for the happiness of the same master, after all.

 

-

 

 

 


	3. Rushing to Meet You: Primum Pars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man what the fuck did this turn into. I started this AU as an excuse to write Noctis having sex with the guys a whole heap and it's turned into a 12000+ word angst fest about true love and political intrigue. AND I'M STILL NOT DONE.
> 
> I split Prompto's part in two chapters because it was getting way too long. It's longer than the first two. I have a massive bias for Prompto. Second part coming soon!
> 
> There are references to Prompto having a possible eating disorder in this chapter. Furthermore, it addresses his dramatic weight loss in the anime. This chapter is in no way meant to be fat-shamey, it's simply meant to express the feelings of a character who struggles with his own self-image. These are things that Prompto thinks about himself, not what I think about anyone who's overweight.
> 
> I consulted a friend of mine who struggles with their own eating disorder to keep my writing as realistic and respectful of the subject as possible.
> 
> As usual herdustisverypretty is a gr8 beta.

-

The first time Prompto sees Noctis, he's struck by just how... Imperfect, the prince is. Not to say that he was ugly, he was still one of the most beautiful people Prompto had ever laid eyes upon, but he looks completely different to the photos he'd seen in magazines and newspapers.

His skin isn't marble smooth. It's healthy and soft, but he has a mole on his cheek and another above his eyebrow. They aren't flaws, not in Prompto's eyes, they're really cute actually. But seeing them there on his face is a shock; seems like photographers usually photoshopped them out when publishing pictures.

He also seems sadder in person. On television, or printed on a page, he rarely smiles, giving him a cool and stoic aura, of a boy far wiser than his youthful face would suggest. Actually being beside him, the aura is much different, far from stoic, more like that of fear, of confusion. He's crowded by students wherever he goes, asking him invasive questions, too many people asking him to play at once, and it isn't long before the prince starts hiding behind the sports supply building during lunch hours just to get some peace and quiet. Prompto knows this because it's also the place he went when he wanted to be alone, although he stops going when it becomes apparent that Noctis intends to make it his regular recess haunt. Why would the prince want to hang out with a loser like him if he couldn't even stand the friendliest, most popular kids in school?

-

Prompto kind of hates himself. He's always tired, he's always fat, he can never keep up with the boys in class. When they ask him to play with them he always embarrasses himself, so he turns them down.

He doesn't have any parents. He doesn't know why. A social worker pops by occasionally, and he's given money by the government for bills and food. The kingdom takes pretty good care of orphans, really, and he's grateful. But he's alone.

-

Noctis has a couple of freckles on his thin and pale chest, Prompto notices one day in one of the few instances where the two have a class together. It's swimming for P.E, and Prompto hates swimming because it means undressing and being seen and being judged. Prompto has to squint to see the freckles without his glasses, but they're there, and he's nearly overcome with the urge to trace between them with his finger like a connect the dots puzzle.

The Prince catches him staring and blinks. “What is it?”

“I-I, um, I was wondering if you had sunscreen I could borrow!” The excuse is weak, and the only one Prompto can think of in a hurry.

Noctis tilts his head. “It's an indoor pool, you wont need any.”

“....Oh.”

Prompto leaves the locker room wishing he was dead. He fakes an illness to get out of the lesson.

-

Prompto finds a dog. It's love at first sight, and he names it Chibi.

It's not his dog and he knows he has to find its owner, but for once, his house doesn't feel so empty at night. He has something to look forward to when he leaves school apart from food and videogames. It's a strange feeling, but it's one he really likes. Who knew having someone to welcome you home was so exciting?

He bathes Chibi, feeds it, and patches up its wounds. He plays with it and talks with it, musing aloud to himself as he does his homework.

“Prince Noctis looked really cool today,” he says to the dog, who happily wags its tail in response to Prompto's cheerful tone. “He had on this really nice shirt... It was blue with silver buttons. I think it was made of silk! Someone spilled their drink on him at recess and I thought he was going to yell at her, but he apologized for bumping into her and offered to buy her another juice. And he hates talking to people, I can tell, he looked really nervous while talking... So he was really making a big effort there.”

He trails off at the memory, giving a quiet sigh. The more he thinks about Noctis, the lonelier he seems to be, just like Prompto. But he's the prince, it's hard to imagine the two of them sharing anything in common.

“Chibi, do you think Noctis would be happy if I talked to him?”

Chibi gives nothing but a high-pitched bark in reply.

-

Prompto is alone again. Chibi vanishes during the night and the house goes back to being empty. Why does he even have a house this size? He's one orphan, what use does he have for this space? No siblings, no parents, no visiting friends. Not even a poor animal seems to want to hang around.

He searches high and low for Chibi, but he finds no sign of the puppy. He considers putting up lost dog signs, but it's not his dog in the first place, and he had failed to take any decent photos. Chibi had been pretty camera shy.

Wherever Chibi is, Prompto hopes the dog is safe and happy.

-

Chibi returns to its, or rather her, owner. Lady Lunafreya, the noblewoman from another country, and more importantly, a powerful oracle. Prompto has seen pictures of the beautiful girl, heard of her wonderful deeds, and her words are what finally makes him decide that Noctis needs a friend, even one as fat and uncool as himself.

Luna seems to be under the impression that Noctis has many friends at school, with Prompto included among them. He'd hate to make a liar out of either Noctis or her. He could at least try, couldn't he? No one else at school seems willing, apart from the girls that follow him around from a distance. After the initial charm of sharing a school with a Prince had worn off, everyone stopped trying to befriend him. Anyone put off by Noctis' shy demeanor would take his initial coldness for disinterest.

Prompto knows what that's like, to turn someone away while at the same time wishing they would stay. Noctis needs someone who keeps trying.

-

Prompto chickens out.

He can't do it.

Even just saying hello turns into a disaster. He trips and falls flat on his face. He gets to see something wonderful for a moment, Noctis's laughing face, and he thinks it's worth it, but then Noctis comments on his heaviness while struggling to pull him to his feet.

He dies.

He realises full well that Noctis hadn't meant to be cruel, him being heavy was... Just a fact. He keeps trying, he goes looking for him at recess, he follows him out the door after the school, but whenever he gets close, gets an attempt to talk to him, he becomes very aware of his size, and how he looks, how badly his clothes fit, and he turns and runs and hides. He doesn't want to be heavy.

Sorry for failing you, Lunafreya. You put your trust in a coward.

-

Noctis stops going to school suddenly. The teachers don't say anything, there's no reason given, it just happens.

Prompto misses him. He's barely said six words to Noctis the entire time the prince had attended the same school, but there's no sneaked glances in the corridors any more, no quickening of his heart and urge to whip out his camera when he sees the Prince outside, a sad and beautiful silhouette in the afternoon sun waiting for his car.

Even more than that, Prompto regrets not trying harder. He'd vowed to try for Noctis, for Lunafreya, for Chibi, but once again he'd let his shyness get in the way. While he and Noct had been at the same school, even after he'd given up there was still a hope that the two of them could talk someday, but if he has left, then the last shred of hope is gone.

Prompto feels like he's failed twice.

-

When Noctis is attacked and almost killed, there's barely any public information released. All anyone outside of the palace knows for sure is that the Prince is in critical condition after some sort of car crash involving a naga.

Speculation is everywhere. Prompto reads every paper, watches every news report, asks every adult he can get at, and the details shapeshift like a game of whispers. Some people seem sure that Noctis is going to die. Others say he's already dead and the palace is trying to prepare the public for the news.

Prompto refuses to believe that.

Noctis is going to live. He's going to see that smile again, even if they don't go to the same school any more. The palace has to accept visitors some time, right?

-

Prompto is tired of feeling bad about himself. He wants to dress stylishly, wants his clothes to fit, wants to like what he sees in the mirror.

That positive thinking stuff has never done anything for him. He'd seen those special episodes of kids shows about learning to accept ones differences, he'd had those self esteem and anti-bullying workshop groups visit his class at school.

Noctis is alive. He's awake. He's in a wheelchair. He's been to hell and managed to survive. Prompto is inspired. If Noctis could go through all he had and still come out hopeful, then Prompto is going to work hard too. As his future friend, it wouldn't be right to be lazy at a time when the prince is working hard.

Changing how he feels on the inside isn't working. Changing his body would have to do. He stops getting take-out every day and starts going running.

-

Losing weight is an even bigger effort than Prompto had imagined. He's tired and hungry and he hates his food. He doesn't know how to cook, so he just munches on raw fruits and vegetables and drinks water like a fish. His knees hurt a lot.

It feels good though, to have a goal to work towards, to have something to do after school besides wallow at home. There's a man who goes running around the same time as him, somewhere in his twenties with wide shoulders and strong calf muscles, and he always greets Prompto when he passes him. He can tell Prompto is struggling, obviously, but Prompto begins to look forward to seeing him on his runs. Every word of encouragement makes his heart beat in a way that was much more pleasant than that caused by the exercise.

Prompto starts saying hello back.

Noctis isn't in the news much. He's hard at work rehabilitating after his injuries. The media practically has a celebration the first time some journalists photograph him walking for the first time since the accident. Prompto's heart soars.

Maybe they can go running together some time.

-

Prompto writes Noctis letters. He never sends them, but he greets the page he writes on, asks how he is doing, wishes him well, then balls the letter up and throws it in the garbage. They never sound quite right, and it never feels like a good time to send them.

The prince doesn't even know his name, why would he open up any fanmail from him? He probably gets a thousand letters a day.

Prompto enters middle school. He finds the confidence to properly introduce himself to the man he sees on his runs. The crushing heartbreak he feels when the man starts telling the boy about his wife is what makes Prompto realise what crushes feel like.

He stops running for about three days. Then he sees Noctis on television, looking scared but strong, giving his first public address since the injuries, thanking the kingdom for supporting him and being patient while he recovers. Prompto immediately goes to look for his jogging outfit.

-

Apparently, Prompto is funny.

He's never thought of himself as such, but he makes some of his schoolmates laugh sometimes, and he gets invited to hang out with them after school and at lunch. He joins the track team at their insistence.

This apparently makes Prompto handsome. He gets asked out to the movies by a girl, a beautiful redhead named Sarah. Prompto doesn't know her very well, but she's pretty, almost as pretty as Lady Luna, and she's very kind, so he accepts.

The date doesn't go very well. Prompto feels too nervous to speak. She politely dumps him at the end of the night.

Prompto wonders if Noctis has as much trouble talking to girls as he does. Is he still shy? Scared of people? Has he been working on his insides too? He certainly doesn't need to work on his outside. The Prince seems to be growing more beautiful and regal every time he appears to the public.

Prompto goes out on a few more dates with some girls from school. He gets better at talking to them, incrementally. Whenever he runs out of topics to discuss, he brings up the prince; he could talk about Noctis for hours.

-

Prince Noctis is going to high school.

It's announced on television one day, out of the blue, during Prompto's last year in middle school. It's a fancy high school, private, horrendously expensive, something that only kids who were both smart and rich could get into.

This was Prompto's chance. He isn't either of those things, but he isn't going to let that stop him.

His grades are fairly good, certainly better than they used to be. He'd been working almost as hard at school as he had been on his body, so eager to impress the prince was he. He doubles down and studies harder than ever before. He saves every bit of money he has. No new clothes, no new games, no new gadgets or phones. He gets a part time job. He takes out a loan. He takes the entrance exam.

He passes.

He gets in.

-

Prompto is so nervous he barely sleeps the night before his first day of school.

Looking at the mirror, he can tell he's different. He's thinner, taller, stronger, with hair longer and skin more freckled after all the outdoor running he'd been doing. He's leaving his glasses at home and taking contact lenses in their place. Girls think he's cute.

He doesn't feel different, not exactly. Sure, he can physically feel the tone around his stomach and then think back to how it used to feel touching flab, but when he pictures himself in his mind's eye he's exactly the same.

Dorky. Short. Fat. Constantly tired and uncomfortable. Too shy to speak. The old Prompto is still inside, threatening to ruin his entire plan. Well, New Prompto is too smart for him. Whatever he thinks of himself, he knows that logically he is different, and totally unrecognisable as the boy in the first photo he'd taken of himself so long ago. He'd only ever spoken to Noctis twice, so it wasn't likely the prince would recognize him as the loser that used to stalk him.

It's his chance for a fresh start.

-

As expected, everyone gawks at Noctis, walking amongst the commoners like he was one of them rather than royalty. Boys and girls alike crowd around him, but don't dare approach him, like he's a rare animal at the zoo. Noctis acts like he doesn't notice them, but how could he not?

Not a single person has said hello to him for as long as Prompto has been watching. He changes that by running up to him and cheerfully smacking him on the back.

“Hey, Prince Noctis!”

As expected, Noctis looks confused. “Huh?”

“I'm Prompto, nice to meet you!”

A winning warm smile, he wants to exude nothing but comfort and happiness towards the prince. Someone who will love him, someone he can trust.

Noctis continues looking confused. He looks Prompto up and down. He smiles.

“Don't I know you?”

Caught out already. Prompto says nothing in response, instead laughing nervously. Privately, he thinks he's going to die, his plan has failed, it was all for nothing, but then Noctis smiles again and smacks his back, almost affectionately.

Prompto's heart soars.

-

Prompto and Noctis attach themselves to eachcother for the first few weeks of school. Neither of them know any of the students, everyone is afraid of talking to the prince, and Prompto is taking every opportunity possible to talk to him, so it's natural that they become friends.

To Prompto's joy, Noctis has quite a few things in common with him. They like the same music, they like the same TV shows. They both love videogames. They both hate vegetables. They both love sleep.  
Pretty soon the pre-planned friendship starts feeling more like a natural one.

Prompto is struggling to keep up with his exercise schedule. His workload is bigger in high school, and his efforts towards Noctis occupy most of his free time. He decides not to join the track team and instead returns to running in private.

He invites Noctis once, hoping to live out his fantasy of going for a jog with his new friend, but hilariously enough, Noctis seems to hate running.

“Whats so funny?” Noctis asks sulkily when Prompto laughs.

“You are,” Prompto wipes an eye and grins. “You're so shy and lazy, you're pretty much the opposite of what I imagined a prince to be like as a kid.”

Noctis looks somewhat crestfallen at that. Was Noctis afraid he disappointed him? Prompto? A wheezy little commoner orphan?

He puts an arm around the prince and squeezes him. “Don't get all cloudy-faced on me, I mean it in a good way. I love those things about you.”

A trick of the light makes Prompto imagine that just for a moment, Noctis is blushing.

-

Every day, Noctis is picked up and dropped off by the same guy without fail. He's tallish, handsome, and looks to be a couple years older than the two of them. Prompto remembers seeing him a few times in elementary school; in the three years since then he'd gotten his drivers licence and gone from sitting in the back seat with the prince to being his driver.

Ignis Scientia, Noctis calls him. Basically a life-long valet that he'd grown up with in the castle. He seems like a stick in the mud, but Noct seems to like him.

Prompto gets to school early one morning and he sees the car Ignis drives Noctis around in some way down the street. An early arrival too. Excited, he bounds up to the car and cheerfully taps on the window, noticing too late the scene behind the dark glass

Noctis, reclined in the spacious back seat, pants unzipped and pulls apart, eyes shut in a vision of ecstasy as Ignis, kneeling on the car floor, sucks him off, like something out of an amateur porn video.

Both of them look up in alarm when Prompto knocks. Prompto acts on instinct and bolts away from the scene.

-

Prompto goes through his morning classes in a daze. He's certain what just happened was real, but it feels like a dream. A dirty dream. Prompto has had dirty dreams about Noctis before but this is far too vivid and detailed to be anything but real. He saw Noctis' servant giving him a blowjob in the back seat of his car.

He gets a text from Noctis and he's too scared to open it for several minutes.

**[Please meet me behind the library for lunch.]**

Simple and succinct. An explanation offered. The “please” stands out.

With trembling fingers, he texts back.

**[ok]**

-

Noct is there already when Prompto arrives, no food in sight. Prompto ran over in such a rush that he'd forgotten too. He's too nervous to eat anyway. He slows down when the prince comes into sight, leaning against the wall of the building, shoulders stiff, eyes trained on the ground. It's a good spot for an embarrassing and private conversation. The area behind the library is furthest from the rest of the school -though still technically being on the property, and it's also out of bounds, so they're unlikely to get any intruders.

Prompto stops.

“U-Um, so...You and, uh, Ignis?”

“He's my Retainer,” Noctis says instantly, raising his eyes. His face is hard like stone. Prompto is taken aback.

“R-Retainer? You mean, you guys actually...?”

The issues of royals having a Retainer was a subject for much gossip and speculation, both inside the kingdom and out. Prompto knows what they are, but for some reason he'd never pictured Noctis taking part in that particular tradition. He's so... shy. Not to mention young. The two of them aren't even sixteen yet.

“If I didn't pick one,” Noctis continues quickly, “one would have been picked for me. I wanted someone I knew and trusted, so I asked Gladiolus.”

“But I thought his name was Ignis...?”

“I have two. Ignis and Gladiolus. They care about me a lot. We shouldn't have been doing that publicly but I was nervous and... He wanted to help calm me down.”

Noctis' cheeks turn pink and his gaze returns to the ground.

“Please don't tell anyone,” the prince finishes quietly, “They deserve privacy. And It could mean trouble for me too, if anyone outside the castle hears. I'll, uh... I'll pay you, I guess.”

Noctis rubs the back of his neck nervously and turns away, unable to take Prompto's wide-eyed face any longer. Prompto has been going through the morning feeling very much like he's been smacked in the face, but it's that last bit that hurts the worst so far. Noctis thought he was... blackmailing him?

“What the fuck, Noct!” Prompto smacks the back of his friends head, genuinely offended. Noctis stumbles a few steps forward and looks back in shock. “When did I ever say I was going to tell anyone?! Do you think this I'm some backstabbing fake friend in a teen soap opera?! I don't want your money. I'm not going to go around gossiping about your secret boyfriends.”

Noctis is speechless. He gapes at Prompto like a fish, taking several moments to form a response.

“...O-Oh.” He says at last. “Then are we still.... We're cool, then?”

“We're cool,” Prompto lets out a sigh and shakes his head, “I mean, I still think royal life is weird and this isn't helping... But it doesn't change, um, us... and stuff.”

He's pretending to be more okay with this than he actually is. He's seriously shaken by the whole thing. But Noctis looks so small and scared, and even if the prince royally freaked him out this morning, even if the sight of a man's lips on his flesh made Prompto want to die, he still loves his friend.

Everyone has their weird secrets and quirks.

Noctis looks immensely relieved. His shoulders loosen, and his eyes shine a bit like he's holding back tears. Other than that, he looks stoic as ever, with just the hint of a smile gracing his lips.

How Prompto loves that smile.

-

“So... Can I ask you some personal questions?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Not really.”

“Go ahead, then.”

“Are you gay?”

Noctis gives Prompto a long hard stare before answering, like he can't even believe Prompto is a real person that exists at that moment.

“I'm getting married when I'm older,” he finally says in a way that makes it clear that he's talking about a woman. He doesn't sound happy about it. Prompto frowns.

“...That sucks.”

A shrug from the prince. “I'm fine with it.”

“Well... For the record, gay people are cool.”

Noctis snorts. “I'm sure if there's any in the room, they're glad to hear you think so.”

“Cut me some slack, buddy,” Prompto laughs as well and nudges his friend, “I've never talked about that stuff with anyone before. I dunno what you want me to say.”

“Well, it'd be nice if you stopped bringing up my sex life every time we're alone.”

“...One more question? Then I'll stop, I swear.”

“Fine.”

“When I saw you and Ignis, after I ran away did you guys, like, finish?”

“I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.”

-

Noctis sleeps a lot. Way more than a normal teenager. Prompto often sees him nodding off in class, or curling up in a chair in the library during lunch. It's kind of cute.

Prompto snaps a photo. Noctis starts awake when the flash flickers over his eyelids. “What's that?”

“I don't have any pictures of you yet,” Prompto shrugs and reaches out to move some hair off Noctis' face, wanting a clearer shot of that impressive royal visage. Noctis grumpily smacks the hand away.

“Do an internet search or something.”

Prompto almost says that he has, many times, but he manages to bite his tongue. “I mean real photos of you, Noct. All the official ones have you photoshopped like a mannequin, it's creepy. They always touch up your beauty spots.”

“My... beauty spots?”

“These bad boys.” Prompto grins and reaches towards him again, poking the spots on his face while making robot-like beeping noises as though he were pressing buttons on a machine. Noctis doesn't knock him away this time, but he does scrunch up his nose in distaste.

“They're just moles, Prompt.”

“Yeah, but they're yours. They sorta, add something to your face you know? They're cute. I mean, your face is great with or without them, but...”

He trails off awkwardly, gesturing uselessly into the air. He sounds like an idiot, he shouldn't have brought it up. How inappropriate was he even going to be-

“Prom,” Noctis rolls his eyes, “That's kind of gay.”

“...You aren't supposed to call things gay.”

“I'm a professional, I can do what I like.”

“I thought you weren't gay?”

“I'm the prince.”

“You gonna lock me in the dungeons for being gay?”

“No, I'll lock you up for poking my moles. That's treason, probably.”

“Can I take a photo of you to keep me company on those long cold prison nights?”

“You're gross,” Noctis answers, but he laughs and smiles, and sits back a bit in a way that indicated he's camera-ready. Prompto's heart throbs as he snaps the most beautiful photo he's ever taken. Later, he prints out several copies. He frames one and puts it in his room, and he trims another down and keeps it in his wallet. Being surrounded by photos of loved ones was a thing too many people took for granted, he always thought.

-

There's a girl at school. Her name is Pruina. She has dark brown skin, long black hair and big black eyes that reflected whatever she was looking at like a mirror. She's also one of the richest kids in the school, and she throws the best parties because of it.

“So you'll come, right?” She gazes hopefully up at Prompto, hands clasped under her chin as if in prayer. Prompto can't say no to a beautiful girl, and he can't say no to a good party, but he's hesitating this time. She wants him to bring Noctis.

“I dunno...” Prompto says, scratching the back of his head. Pruina's nice, but it's not the first time someone has tried to use his friend for a bit of social climbing. He's feeling a bit protective.

“We'll be there,” Noctis' voice is suddenly in his ear. An arm slips around his shoulders as the Prince steps into Prompto's field of vision. Pruina lights up like the sun and types up a note in her phone. She thanks Noctis and Prompto for their RSVPs and then skips off down the hall, looking for more invites. Prompto looks at Noctis uneasily.

“You sure you're okay with that? You hate parties. And people. And being awake at most hours.”

“You like Pruina, don't you?”

“Well, I mean, yeah, she's a babe! But she's way out of my league.”

Noctis gives him a confused look as if he's stupid. “Just show some gratitude, will you?”

“Are you even allowed to go to parties?”

The prince only gives a mischievous smile in response.

-

Prompto turns up at Pruina's doorstep fashionably late, hair teased to disheveled perfection, dressed up in his cool-but-in-an-old-way-est clothes. He even has a bit of foundation on to cover up his imperfections. And a subtle touch of eyeliner, just to make his blues pop.

Noctis is there waiting for him on the curb, looking distinctly out of place. He's not dressed up at all, only wearing what he normally wears lounging about at home, but he's managed to amass a small crowd of girls, all standing around him and trying to draw him into conversation. The prince practically stands up and runs when he spots his friend coming, and Prompto can't help but feel a little smug that Noct is so excited to see him.

“Hey highness, not gone inside yet?”

“What, without my chaperone?” Noctis falls into step with Prompto as they head into the massive house, music blaring from every corner, food and booze on every surface. Prompto notices how the prince winces at the noise and lights, and gives his shoulder a comforting squeeze. He offers once again to skip the party and return home, but for whatever reason, Noctis refuses.

They head for the snack table and busy themselves there. Prompto nibbles on some pretzels and manages to track down a low carb beer, while Nocto just eats whatever is in front of him and responds with “whatever” when asked what drink he'd like, so Prompto gets him what he's having.

The prince cringes at the taste. Prompto grins and raises his voice to speak over the music. “First beer?”

“Champagne's better.”

“Should have asked for that, buddy. Did you tell your dad about tonight?”

Prompto receives a dry, tired look from his friend. “I don't need to tell him every time I go out.”

Noctis moved out of the palace and into an apartment closer to school recently. Prompto had no idea how he managed to persuade his dad to let him, but it probably involved batting those big sad blue eyes of his.

Prompto wonders if Noctis is going through a royal-style rebellious phase. Getting away from dad, keeping secrets, going to parties... That's what teenagers did, wasn't it?

Soon, the pair are found by the lovely hostess of the evening. Pruina is there in a gorgeous white cocktail dress, the neck of which forms an arrow that draws the eye straight to her cleavage. She bounces up to Prompto and Noctis excitedly. She asks how the journey over was, if they were having a good time, if they like the music. Fine, yes, the volume could be lower, in that order.

She laughs as if Prompto is making a joke. Prompto takes that as an opening. “So, uh, wanna dance?”

Pruina looks genuinely surprised. “Oh! Um, that sounds fun! But my friend was actually hoping she could dance with you first.”

Only then does Prompto notice a violet eyed girl standing off to the side, watching the conversation shyly. She hides her face when Prompto looks her way.

Pruina tells Prompto her name, but he instantly forgets it. She suggests dancing with him later and then pushes him towards her friend, tugging Noctis away by the arm at the same time, separating the two boys. Prompto suddenly feels very alone in that loud crowded room.

The girl is nice, Prompto supposes. But she's not very talkative, or at least, they don't have many topics in common to talk about. All that's left for them to do is dance, and then when they tire of that, they sit and drink. Prompto wonders if Pruina took Noctis so Prompto could be alone with her friend, or if the girl took Prompto so Pruina could have the prince to herself. Considering Noctis' status and good looks far outshine anything Prompto has, he suspects the latter.

He wonders if Noctis is okay fending off the advances of a girl by himself. She'd back off if he said no, she's lovely from what he knows of her... But what if Noctis is too worried about his masquerade to turn her down? What if he's silently praying for a rescue?

He walks off in the middle of whatever his dance partner is talking about. He takes two steps in the direction he saw him and Pruina going. It suddenly hits him how drunk he is. Just how many drinks had he had again? Low cal or not this was going to throw off his diet for the entire week. He doesn't have to stumble very far looking for the prince, at least. He finds Noctis curled up in a chair in some corner or another, alone and dozing off. Prompto reaches out to touch his shoulder, but he misses and pats his head instead. Noctis squints up at him, face a bit red, eyes slightly unfocused.

“I'm drunk,” Noctis says.

Prompto laughs. “How did hanging out with Pruina go?”

“Badly. Can we leave?”

Prompto is about to answer yes, but instead he doubles over and vomits on Noctis' shoes.

-

It's fortunate that Pruina's house is so huge, because it isn't very hard find a free bathroom. It's attached to a guest room full of white furniture and fake flowers, with sweet-smelling sheets that get changed more than they're used. Prompto rushes straight for the toilet in time to throw up again. Noctis gives his back a pat while taking off his shoes and wiping himself off at the sink. Prompto can't believe he just vomited on royalty, but he doesn't have the energy to feel overly embarrassed right now.

Noctis sits on the tiles just behind him. His pants are off, hanging damp on a towel rack. Had Prompto been in a better mood he'd probably stare. Noctis has nice legs. Instead, he tells him between retches to go lay down or something, but the prince refuses to leave, instead watching his friend suffer into the toilet.

“I don't want you to die,” he says. Prompto is usually the first to crack jokes about dying in the face of the most minor inconveniences, but there's genuine worry in his friends voice.

“Not dying...” Prompto says into the toilet bowl. “Just feel like it.”

“...You're not doing this on purpose are you?”

“What?” He looks at Noctis in confusion. The prince directs his tired gaze away and stands up to excuse himself. He'll go lay down after all. Why does he have to be so cool and enigmatic all the time? Gives Prompto a headache.

Prompto finishes vomiting. He cleans up, washes his mouth out, and goes back to the bedroom. Noctis is waiting, flopped on the bed like a discarded jacket, eyes peeking open a bit when he senses his friend enter the room. He asks if Prompto feels better. Prompto says yeah, and then joins him on the bed. They lay in drunken silence for several minutes before Prompto speaks.

“Noct, you saw me vomit on you.”

“...Yeah. Sorry.”

“Do you think I make myself throw up or something?

“...You spend a lot of time in the bathroom.... You're always on a diet... I'm sorry, forget it okay? I saw this documentary on TV and since then.... Ugh, never mind.”

So the prince thinks he has some sort of eating disorder. Well, Prompto isn't sure how to respond to that. It's not something he's ever considered for himself. He does seem to have a massive disconnect with how he sees himself compared to others, and he calorie-counts every meal. But he doesn't starve himself, he doesn't make himself throw up, he doesn't exercise to the point of breaking. He's got fairly good control of his behaviour, even if he can't control his thoughts.

“I'm just doing my hair,” he answers truthfully with a tired smile, scooting closer to his friend. He lays his head against Noctis' chest affectionately. “And covering up my freckles. It takes a lot of work to make foundation look natural.”

“Don't cover up your freckles. They're cute.”

Prompto doesn't think they're cute. He thinks they draw the eye and spoil his face. He never really had freckles as a kid, but when he started running and spending large amounts of time outdoors, they came in practically overnight like chicken pox. He views them as imperfections, a price for his fitness. But then, Noctis doesn't like his beauty spots and Prompto adores them. He's about to say as much, until there's a knock on the door, followed by none other than Ignis Scientia entering the room.

“Oh.” Ignis says, quickly averting his eyes, misinterpreting the embrace the two teens are trapped in. Prompto grins foxishly.

“Hello again.”

“...Hello...” Ignis' face is a bit red as he adjusts his glasses. He still hasn't quite recovered from the embarrassing situation Prompto caught him in, and although Prompto doesn't openly antagonize Ignis, it's too hard to resist winding him up.

A very tall and broad figure moves behind Ignis. That definitely has to be Gladiolus, Noctis' other Retainer. He's huge. “You know him?”

“He's a school friend of Noct's.”

“Right... Friend...”

Prompto wonders if he should correct them on the situation. He stays quiet. Noctis sits up and asks what the two are doing there, and it kind of thrills Prompto that the prince doesn't correct them either. Ignis holds up his phone, showing the blue and white screen of some social media website or another. There's so many blue and white ones. That page in particular shows a poorly lit photo, depicting Noctis and Pruina locked in what appears to be a passionate kiss, with Noctis' hands clutching at Pruina's arms as though he were pulling her closer. Prompto feels his stomach drop down to his feet.

“Your rendezvous with the lady of the house is getting posted all over the internet. It wasn't very difficult to track down the location of the party and gatecrash it.”

Both Ignis and Gladiolus have unreadable expressions on their face. They aren't happy, is all Prompto can discern in his drunken state. He wonders if they're feeling just as jealous and hurt as he is right now.

Noct isn't happy either. “Dad wants to see me, I guess?”

He will first thing in the morning, Ignis answers, and he wants the prince home now before any more damage can be done. Noct asks his retainers if they can drop Prompto at his place on the way to the palace. To Prompto's mixed relief and regret, Ignis agrees; He doesn't cherish the thought of sharing a car with the three of them at the moment, but he does acknowledge that he's too drunk to safely walk home.

-

**[Ok spill, what was up with you and Pruina??]**

**[Nothing. She kissed me while we were talking so I pushed her away and ran off.]**

**[Ouch. Sorry I asked. What'd your dad say?]**

**[Dad's pissed that I was drinking, mostly. He thought I was being influenced by you but I told him I was the one peer pressuring you to go to the party, so he likes you again.]**

**[You're not wrong. Why were you even so eager to go?]**

**[You like Pruina.]**

**[No I don't. I like you.]**

Prompto waits for a response, holding his breath. He definitely shouldn't have sent that. But he's drunk. And he did. So all he can do is stare at his phone. He doesn't have the energy to scream, but he does it in his mind. Noctis still doesn't respond. Prompto is definitely panicking.

Then-

**[Can I come see you tomorrow?]**

Prompto re-reads the message twice before responding.

**[Yeah sure.]**

-


	4. Rushing to Meet You: Secunde Pars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all thought this was a deadfic, ha! Nope, I'm just extremely slow and shitty with deadlines! For some dumb reason my muse would just not behave so this went through sooooo many rewrites.   
> Again, this chapter touches slightly on Prompto's potential eating disorder, but I didn't go into as much detail as I would have liked because I didn't want to take the spotlight away from the relationship between him and Noct.
> 
> Also I did in fact go back on my word and play the game while I was writing this. But u know what??? You guys were right, my canon is better. Let's all pretend this was the game and never speak of that ending again.
> 
> I was anxious to finish this because I was taking such a long time, but I'm proud of what I've written and how much work I've put into it and I'm sure you'll enjoy it if you've enjoyed the story so far. I'm really overwhelmed by the unexpectedly massive response this fic had, and I'm so grateful to you all for your hits, kudos and comments.
> 
> As always, thanks to herdustisverypretty for being my wonderful beta.

Noctis' kiss with Pruina trends on every social media platform that Prompto has an account with. It's pretty annoying, with all the gossipy journalists making short videos spewing theories about the potential relationship between the Prince and one of the richest women outside of royalty. Prompto kind of wishes cameras had been present in the bedroom, when he and Noctis cuddled together on the bed. Wasn't that more suggestive than a kiss? Would Prompto be the one talked about in all those videos and articles like he was the prince's secret mistress?

 

Probably not, he decides with no small amount of bitterness.

 

Noctis swings by later in the day. The royal advisers were thrilled about the kiss, apparently. He doesn't want to talk about it. Fair enough. Prompto asks about something else.

 

“Are you and Ignis and Gladiolus, like... in love?”

 

He knows how stupid and embarrassing the question is, but like so many things he said around Noct, it falls out of his mouth before he can stop it. The expression on the prince's face would be funny in any other situation. He answers like he always does when the conversation turns to his preferences; with a hint of regret in his voice, turning his eyes downwards, he reminds Prompto he's getting married when he's older. Fuck, Noct is frustrating sometimes. Prompto has to be more relentless. He has to throw caution and tact to the wind.

 

“Will you be my boyfriend?”

 

The prince stares at him.

 

Prompto stares at the prince.

 

Noctis looks away. “Prom, don't joke around like that.”

 

“I'm not joking.”

 

Noctis knows he's not joking, Prompto can tell. He just wants Prompto to drop the subject. Prompto is fine with rejection, he's been expecting it from day one. His shoulders slump, ready to accept defeat, but then Noctis is talking, turning his blue eyes shyly back to his friend; he's the one not dropping the subject.

 

“I can't date anyone, Prom,” the prince sighs sadly, beautifully, “no matter how much I might like someone. All I can have are Retainers.”

 

Prompto straightens his posture. “Can I be your Retainer then?”

 

“Retainers aren't like “boyfriends”, there's a lot of rules to follow.”

 

“I'm fine with that.”

 

“You'd have to give up any career or university plans and work for the crown.”

 

“That would be a massive load off my mind, actually.”

 

“You'd have to have sex with me. You'd basically be a personal prostitute.”

 

“Buddy, I would have sex with you for free, getting money for it doesn't sound like a downside.”

 

“You wouldn't be allowed to date or marry anyone until I got married.”

 

“Do I look like a player to you?”

 

“You'd have to share me with Ignis and Gladiolus.”

 

It is that statement that makes Prompto pause for thought. He's not looking for Forever with Noctis, Noctis lost any chances at Forever the moment he was born as the son of the king. He belongs to the kingdom, to Lucis, and as much as Prompto likes to selfishly dream of Noctis and he running away together and riding into the sunset on the back of a white chocobo, Forever was unreachable. Now was the best he could ever hope for.

 

“I'll get used to it,” he proclaims with a little uncertainty. “I mean, they're nice guys, right? So long as I can spend some time with you, then... I just wanna be with you, Noct.”

 

Noctis shakes his head in disbelief, but not rejection. Prompto has won, Prompto will have him, the prince's sense of duty is crumbling, he just has to break down the final wall. Shyly, carefully, he takes Noctis' hand in his own and squeezes it, eyes searching Noctis' face desperately. “Just answer Noctis, do you have feelings for me?”

 

“... Yeah.” Noctis' shoulders slump. “That's why I wanted you to date Pruina and be happy.”

 

“I'm happier when I'm with you, though.”

 

Noctis' face turns red, and he turns his gaze downward in a futile attempt to hide from the situation.

 

“I'll... I'll talk to my dad.”

 

Score One for Prompto, Zero for royal duties.

 

-

 

Arrangements are made. Noctis will inform his father and the royal advisors of their intentions, and then they will go from there. In all previous known history, Retainers have always been employees of the royal family before being given their new position, always have other duties besides just being companions. Gladiolus is Noctis' Sheild. Ignis is Noctis' valet and general manservant. Both have royal blood, titles, and training. To contrast, Prompto is a commoner high school student whose only prior job was in retail. It's unlikely he'll just be able to simply step into the role. It sounds scary, difficult, intimidating, but the last of Prompto's uncertainty about the situation completely melts away when Noctis says good bye at the door and leans in to kiss him on the cheek. The boy is so excited, he grabs the Prince around the waist and crushes their mouths together in a move that catches Noctis off-guard and takes his breath away.

 

Prompto's kissed before, definitely. But not often. He's had sex with girls before, but not boys, though he's seen enough of videos of it on shady websites to have a pretty decent idea of what happens. He wonders if he can keep Noctis satisfied. Ignis is tall, cool, handsome, and is so adventurous and dedicated that he's apparently comfortable giving his prince public blowjobs. Prompto's not sure what Gladiolus does but he's built like a tank, his voice is deep and sexy like an actor, and proportionally his dick is probably about two feet long. He doubts either of them have problems keeping weight off or putting muscle on. He especially doubts that they're covered in freckles and ugly stretchmarks.

 

Why does Noctis want him, exactly?

 

-

 

**[Everything okay?]**

 

**[yeah I have a cold tho, I'm skipping school today.]**

 

**[Are you sure that's all it is?]**

 

Prompto stares at his phone, wondering how the fuck Noctis could possibly know he was having a fullblown self-esteem meltdown. He decides to play dumb.

 

**[What else would it be?]**

 

**[I told the royal council about you and me and they're freaking out. They're doing background checks and stuff, seeing if you have any family secrets or criminal records.]**

 

**[lmao tell me if they find anything, I'd love to know who my birth parents are.]**

 

**[We've discussed this. They're chocobos.]**

 

**[Yeah but are they chocobos with a history of male pattern baldness and diabetes?]**

 

**[You're cute.]**

 

 _You're cute_. Again, Prompto stares at his phone, this time in awe. He wonders if it would be weird to print the text out and frame it on his wall. He settles for screenshotting it before replying.

 

**[Cute like Gladiolus and Ignis?]**

 

**[Don't compare yourself to them.]**

 

**[Sorry. I think I'm jealous.]**

 

Noctis doesn't reply straight away. When he does, Prompto's heart nearly stops.

 

**[Do we need to talk more about this?]**

 

**[nonononono please dont break break up with me noct]**

 

**[I'm not. But I don't want you to be unhappy. I can't be just with you.]**

 

**[im not asking you to. I'm just scared you'll get bored with me in a week and ditch me or something cos I can't cook or I'm not as good looking as they are, or something. Like Gladiolus is really hot, what do you guys even feed him?]**

 

**[Prompto. First of all, I'm not that shallow. Second of all, I've had a crush on you since the first day of high school. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. I'm still thinking about our kiss yesterday.]**

 

**[Me too. I love you.]**

 

A risky text. Maybe not, considering the context, but it feels like it when Prompto sends it, and he almost screams and hides under his blanket when his phone vibrates with the prince's reply. His risk is well-rewarded.

 

**[I love you too.]**

 

-

 

Noctis invites Prompto to the palace to formally meet King Regis. He's not officially a Retainer, not yet, and he can't become one until he's approved to join the palace staff in some fashion. Noctis chooses his Retainers from his servants, but his servants are chosen by his father and his advisors. With the fuss they kicked up over Ignis and Gladiolus, they will be looking for every insignificant flaw in Prompto's behaviour that they can find. Impressing them is crucial.

 

He turns up wearing the best suit he can afford, wiping his sweaty hands on his trousers every five minutes and praying that it doesn't stain. Noctis meets him at the door, dressed in a decidedly less formal fashion, a sympathetic smile gracing his princely features. It soothes Prompto's heart to see him, but not enough to get his pulse at a normal rate.

 

“Nervous?” Noctis isn't exactly helpful.

 

Prompto gives him a wordless exhausted look in answer. Then the king arrives. Prompto has seen him before on tv and in the news, but it's absolutely terrifying to see him in person. There's no trumpets or fanfare to announce his arrival, he just walks out of one door or another, and greets his son's friend by name. Prompto instinctually jumps a bit and takes a step behind Noct as if expecting the slight and slender teen to hide Prompto from sight, but he manages to squeak out a polite hello.

 

Behind the King, a small group of men and women, no doubt the advisors and councilmen Prompto is here to impress, are glowering at him like the homewrecker they've already decided he is. When Regis and company finally head towards the dining room, Noctis slips a hand into Prompto's.

 

“You okay?” Noctis asks.

 

“Yeah,” Prompto lies.

 

He hopes he can sit beside Noctis and hold his hand under the dinner table, but the hope ends up being in vain.

 

-

 

The King and the Prince discuss surprisingly mundane things over dinner. Regis asks how school is going, like a real life dad and not some unreachable figurehead that decided the fate of millions of people every day. Regis also asks Prompto a few questions, about school, about hobbies, about family, but Prompto can only answer in short, simple words that cut off any conversations before they can start. He tries not to look at the others seated at the dinner table, but he can feel their icy gazes staring poison-tipped daggers right into his chest.

 

“Is the food not to your liking, Mr Argentum?” One of them asks, and as the plates are taken away by the serving staff it's with alarm that Prompto realises he hasn't eaten a single bite of the first course. He's been too focused on keeping his posture straight and his ears tuned to the words of those around him.

 

“N-No. Ah, I mean-”

 

“Perhaps the kitchen should send up a calorie sheet,” another advisor chimes in, his tone less than kind. Prompto grimaces. Those background checks Noctis said they were running were certainly thorough.

 

The second course arrives, some kind of soup Prompto has never seen before. He rushes to pick up his spoon, but out of the corner of his eye he can see everyone else at the table, Noctis included, holding a different shaped spoon to the one he was holding. Gods, was that over-the-top fancy salad fork stuff he'd seen on TV actually real?

 

The spoon is put down, and he holds his hand over the cutlery lined beside his plate, but freezes.

 

He can't see the right spoon.

 

They all look the same, lined up together like that. Yes, he can tell they're different lengths and shapes, but his pulse is very fast, and the conversation around him is very loud, and he just can't seem to sort out which spoon is which in his head. And it's unseasonably hot and stuffy tonight, did he tie his tie too tight before he left?

Just pick up anything, he tells himself, it's better than just staring at them like an idiot, and he forces himself to move. He tries to dip his new “spoon” in several times before he realises the reason it’s not filling is because he picked up a fork.

 

“Listen to the king when he's addressing you!” One of the advisers suddenly lifts their voice above the white noise in Promptos head, making him jump and drop the spoon into the bowl with a splash and a clatter. He stares open mouthed at the people around him as if just remembering they were there, and everyone is staring back. King Regis is frowning. Noctis looks worried. Prompto is ruining this. He can't do it. He can't do it.

 

He pushes his chair back and leaves the table in a hurry, saying something on auto pilot about going to the bathroom, but he has no idea where the nearest toilet is. He just needs to get out of the room, away from all those judgemental stares. He feels breathless, hot, panicked, he has no idea where he's going, but as soon as he finds an empty room, he throws himself onto a nearby sofa and starts rocking back and forth as he tries to get breath into his lungs. The panic attack that's been threatening to overwhelm him all night is finally breaking the banks.

 

“Prompto?” Noctis has followed him. The prince stares at him from the doorway for a moment, eyes wide, probably scared, definitely confused. He rushes to Prompto, reaching out a hand to touch his shoulder, and Prompto meets him by throwing his arms around his waist and burying his face in Noctis' stomach, close and tight as physically possible.

 

“I-I can't do it,” Prompto is sobbing a bit, voice cracking harshly as he struggles to maintain control. “I keep messing up, I'm going to... I can't do it, I'm so sorry Noct, I tried so hard but I'm just so stupid and they already hate me and I don't know what to do!”

 

“You're not stupid,” the prince hugs him with force returned, “They're just... They're not important, alright? They don't know anything about you.”

 

Prompto disagrees. They know everything about him, things Prompto probably doesn't know himself. They hate what they see, he's not good enough for the Prince, he never would be, if he couldn't even handle a fucking spoon then how could he be expected to protect and care for Noctis?

 

Noctis has pulled away and is handing him a tissue. Prompto accepts, wipes his face, and blows his nose. Noctis fidgets awkwardly for a moment, and asks Prompto if he wants to go somewhere quiet.

 

-

 

 

Noct's bedroom is large and airy, tidy and free of dust despite the occupant not currently living in it. What it must be like to have a castle full of servants. The Prince goes right in and crosses the floor to open a window, while Prompto throws himself onto the giant mattress and tries to stop shuddering when he breathes. He presses his face into one of the plush pillows. It doesn't smell like Noct; he should expect that, but it's a bit of a let-down all the same. The real thing joins him on the bed soon after, at least. Prompto feels the mattress dip next to him, and in the next moment, a gentle hand is stroking his hair away from his sweaty forehead.

 

“I'm sorry...” Prompto mumbles weakly. He's calming down a bit now, but that just allows the panic he was feeling to give way to shame and embarrassment. “I just... I totally broke down back there over something dumb and I ruined everything.”

 

“You were having trouble eating...” There's obvious concern in the prince's voice. Prompto shakes his head, feeling a stab of guilt.

 

“It's not what you think, everyone was staring at me and...I don't know. I can't think straight right now.”

 

He's exhausted physically and emotionally, and his face hurts from crying. Panic attacks aren't foreign to him, but it's been a while since he's had one, and of course it came on the most inopportune night of his life

 

“You'll be okay,” Noctis offers. It's obvious from his tone he doesn't quite know how to fix the situation, not that there's really anything he can do anyway. He's trying though, and to Prompto, that's worth something, if not everything. Prompto moves his head from the pillow and into Noctis' lap. Noctis places a hand over Prompto's eyes. Prompto asks why. The Prince apologises and removes his hand, and Prompto has to admit he kind of misses it.

 

“Covering my eyes always used to help me,” Noctis explains somewhat bashfully, averting his eyes.

 

“You have panic attacks too?”

 

“... Sometimes. I had them a lot when I was a kid.”

 

Makes sense, Prompto thinks. Noctis didn't exactly have a trauma-free childhood. He sits up and leans on the Prince's shoulder, nuzzling affectionately into his neck like a nesting chocobo. Just a few minutes alone together and he's already feeling significantly better. “Will you teach me how to eat with fancy silverware?”

 

“I would prefer not to... Learning it for myself was bad enough.”

 

“Then Ignis can teach me. He taught you stuff like that, right?”

 

Noctis doesn't answer. He's quiet for a moment. Then: “Maybe you shouldn't be my Retainer, Prom. If it's stressing you out this much-”

 

“No!” Prompto's answer is more than a little panicked. He grabs the Princes hands in his own, as if fearful to be separated for even a moment. “I mean, yeah, tonight went bad, but... I don't wanna give up. Have those council guys actually said no yet?”

 

“They've been saying no the entire time.”

 

“Great! Then their opinion of me can't get any worse! I've got nowhere to go but up!”

 

He flashes his cheesiest, most confident grin. He's scared, scared of those advisors, scared of not being good enough, but he's more scared of losing Noct. He refuses to go back to being that sad, lonely little boy who ate his feelings and hid from the world.

 

Noctis snorts a little, and Prompto feels calmed. The Prince squeezes the hands of the commoner back, and in an act that makes Prompto feel like a fucking princess in a fairy tale, he bends down and places a kiss on the top of his knuckles. Damn. Somehow that makes his heart race more than when they kiss on the lips.

 

“I love you,” Prompto blurts out, not that it's exactly news. The Prince smiles up at him, eyes sparkling through his lashes. Prompto really wants to kiss every inch of that face, from his smile to his brow, and so he does. He grabs Noct's shirt collar and pulls him close, planting kisses on every available inch of skin, and the laugh that escapes from Noctis' mouth while he struggles to escape sounds like angels singing.

 

Prompto refuses to let up. Pretty soon Prompto is on top of Noctis, innocent face kissing quickly turned more passionately, the laughter replaced by soft gasping mixed with wet sounds that Prompto can feel right below his belt. He's anxious in a different way, suddenly.

 

“Noct, I'm really hard.” He's never been too certain how to approach sex while sounding cool and sexy, all he knows how to be is awkward and eager.

 

Noctis glances down between them as if he needs more verification than the boner obviously poking into his thigh.

 

“I don't suppose you want to...?”

 

Prompto nods quickly. Noctis nods towards the bedside table. “Check in there, there might be some condoms and lube.”

 

Sure enough, there is. The condoms aren't expired either, does Ignis keep Noctis's bedroom stocked up in case he comes home or something? Whatever, not important, he's about to get fucked by a prince. With loot in hand, he turns back to Noctis, and is surprised to see he's already taken off his shirt and is working on his pants. He's pretty blaise about this for such a shy guy. Or, more likely, he's actually as nervous as Prompto is but he's better at hiding it thanks to his years of emotional repression and hiding behind a princely mask. Not that Prompto can even imagine Noctis having something about his body to be nervous about.

 

Somehow, Prompto is able to tear his eyes away long enough to throw his clothes off and get under the covers. Noctis is climbing in next to him, smiling, reaching out for him, apparently not at all bothered by his friend’s clusters of freckles or his blotchy uneven skintone or the silvery stretchmarks on his torso or his not tiny but definitely not huge dick size. Like really, after having guys like Gladiolus and Ignis, Prompto must be a bit of a disappointment on some level, right?

 

It's mostly grinding and gasping and mutual fondling for the next few minutes. Prompto makes a noise of disappointment when his Prince pulls away, but it’s just so Noct can unwrap the condom.

 

“Ever done anal?” the Prince asks in a casual tone. Prompto stutters out a response to the negative, and Noctis seems unsurprised. “We can... I mean, I really like it, and I've fantastized about you fucking me for over a year, but if you want to do something else-”

 

“Anal is fine.” Prompto's interruption makes Noct snort in amusement. The Prince kisses him silly, muttering something about how dumb and cute he is, and then sets about giving him a very hands-on tutorial in stretching.

 

Prompto is pretty certain he's not very good at sex. He's inexperienced, nervous, and fast. He feels like if he doesn't do a well enough job, Noctis will kick him out of bed, but Noctis keeps slowing him down, encouraging him to take his time, dragging him down for more kisses and pets to keep him hot and calm his troubled mind. And bad or not, Prompto can't deny Noctis is definitely enjoying something he's doing, because you can fake noises of enjoyment but you can't fake a leaking erection.

 

Pretty soon, Prompto is sliding in. Holy shit. He's totally ready to cum. He's not going to though, he won’t let himself. He's going to die but he's going to hold on. Noctis encourages him to start thrusting, and he's happy to oblige, because the tightness and heat is maddening. Noctis grabs his hand and makes him grab the prince's dick, adding a handjob to the frenzied wet chaos, and that takes a bit of coordination, but Prompto manages to get his movements into a decent rhythm.

 

Noct comes first, to his surprise. He arches his back, his nails dig into the sheets, the noises he makes reach a crescendo, and with his thin ankles encircled around Prompto's hips like a vice he releases everything he was holding back, ten times more beautiful and erotic than anything else that Prompto has ever seen.

 

With the Prince taken care of, Prompto cums too. It's a sudden orgasm, quick and sharp, and he's probably going to feel embarrassed about the noise he makes later, but he's enjoying the moment too much to feel shame right now. He's not done, he feels like he could never be done, and so while still inside Noctis he holds the Prince in his arms and kisses his face, lips, his neck, his chest.

Noctis laughs quietly, satisfied and sleepy. “You're clearly feeling better.”

Prompto has to think for a moment; so caught up in the activity was he that he'd completely forgotten about the events at dinner. He grins. “Nothing like sex with your best friend to take your mind off things.”

 

They clean up with tissues, and then get back into bed without showering or changing the sheets. It's pretty gross, but kinda awesome at the same time, and they're both really not in a cleaning mood so it's something they're willing to put up with. Under the blankets, Prompto feels Noctis slip a hand into his.

 

“I'm not going to give you up,” the Prince says frankly.

 

“Neither,” Prompto replies.

 

-

 

Noct is true to his word, to the frustration of the men and women who oppose his relationship with Prompto. A Prince is not meant to date, to have boyfriends, to kiss those who are not his Retainer, but the Prince disregards those rules as carelessly as you like and freely engages with the love affair, even inviting Prompto over to the palace for dinner occasionally. Prompto overhears some servants talking about him once, it seems he's earned the less-than-fond nickname of “the mistress” among the castle staff, and Prompto can't help but take a sick sort of pleasure in it. Hell yeah, he's Noctis' mistress. Noctis is breaking rules just so they can be together. It's hard not to see the romance in that.

 

Prompto is fully aware that the situation probably causes Noctis a great deal of grief. Palace politics are messy, probably even moreso than Prompto thinks, but the Prince seems intent on keeping Prompto out of any stressful crossfire. Prompto is grateful, but at the same time he feels guilty that Noctis shoulders the burden by himself.

 

They graduate high school. By then, Prompto has built up an uneasy kind of rapport with King Regis. The King, thinking of his son’s happiness, vouches for Prompto, and Prompto is allowed to join the crownsguard.

 

The same day, he becomes Prince Noctis' newest and final Retainer.

 

-

 


End file.
